Skip to main content

 This is probably the 100th time I'm trying to pen this down in the last week. I was not getting the right words to start or to end. This continual attempt to have this written is because I want to have a record of this, so that I can come back to this, read, and re-read it. 


It is about something most of us try to search for in others, or oneself. It is about something I have tried very hard to search for in every possible place from the very first day I gained my consciousness. There has been a phase of desperately looking for love, in people, in parks, in benches, in other animals, in everything. Not only for myself, but in general as well. But with time, I have moved on from that phase with immense hopelessness and anguish. 


And then there was a day.

Very recently in the past.

I don't think I have seen love more closely before. It was so near to me. As if I could touch it. But, as Van Gogh says beautiful things need perseverance and disappointments. It went very far very soon. That day perhaps my journey with my perception of love was till there. 


We'll meet again, or maybe not

But I was so content to know this much, that what I think exist, exists. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Let love come to you

Let love come to you, in the rawness of its form. Let it walk, crawl, leap, but perhaps never rush Let love find you In a random seashore, in an old gift, a photograph, or a misty morning In the company of friends, in the quietness of a partner. Let love magnify your heart for someone Let love magnify someone's heart for you Let it make you one with their contentment, anxieties, and awkward silences. Let love come to you Don’t settle for empty labels or shallow ties Love can not be a refuge from loneliness. Let love be honest with you And you, be honest with love. For neither happiness nor sorrow, neither certainty nor hesitation Can bring you the peace that honesty with love can.

Beautiful Sadness

If I could tell you that I followed you through the barren land  The decayed forest, the people less roads. I have followed you through the heavy wind  The ruins of the dead and through the void of my heart,  To see how far I can go  To explore what I carry for myself Because only when I can let you go  I can hold myself stronger  And through this quest for the ideal soul, which you were to me I have come a long way with myself  Through this quest for the ideal soul, which you were to me I have become one  The one I wanted to be I have become one, with the journey and all its atrocities  I have become one, that may have cost the deepest grief  The grief that permeates your heart, because you know you need it  The grief which you embrace with time The grief which my friend has called to be a beautiful sadness  Because it teaches you that beauty can be felt with both filled and empty heart

Flicker

I gaze through the windows of nearness and truth, searching for what is real and what is not I transverse across a million versions of myself,  Somewhere, I tug at a turban; somewhere, I wear a skirt In one place, I iron a blazer; in another, I stitch wool. I discover more windows, and through them, I keep looking At what is truth and what is not Until I return to myself, with a sudden gasp of air A faint breaking sound of glass I return having seen versions of myself I do not recognise  Some versions of you too perhaps And as they come together, they lead me closer to the truth  until it falters, and no truth remains.