Skip to main content

 Very often than not I go back to my childhood pictures. I see a different person there. Someone who was so excited to grow up, go to school, make new friends, meet people, play sports, click pictures, count birthdays, spoke till the other person almost asked her to stop. Memories have mostly faded away of that age, I only remember how I felt in certain situations.

Very often than not I go back to the pictures. My eyes fill up. I say sorry to the picture. Every time. I mean it more than I've ever meant any word as I say.


 I'm sorry, for not being able to protect it. I'm sorry everything didn't turn out to be as it was thought. I'm sorry for turning out to be a reluctant, apathetic person. I don't feel bad about being apathetic. I don't feel bad about the dangerously pessimistic thoughts I have every day. I don't feel bad about being hopeless. I feel bad because 20 years ago I was a person who wanted to be a good individual and yesterday night I was a person who thought I don't care about anyone thing until it affects me.

Anything that keeps the peace. 



And I feel worse about carrying on with an existence that I haven't chosen to have.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Let love come to you

Let love come to you, in the rawness of its form. Let it walk, crawl, leap, but perhaps never rush Let love find you In a random seashore, in an old gift, a photograph, or a misty morning In the company of friends, in the quietness of a partner. Let love magnify your heart for someone Let love magnify someone's heart for you Let it make you one with their contentment, anxieties, and awkward silences. Let love come to you Don’t settle for empty labels or shallow ties Love can not be a refuge from loneliness. Let love be honest with you And you, be honest with love. For neither happiness nor sorrow, neither certainty nor hesitation Can bring you the peace that honesty with love can.
Post a Comment
Read more

Beautiful Sadness

If I could tell you that I followed you through the barren land  The decayed forest, the people less roads. I have followed you through the heavy wind  The ruins of the dead and through the void of my heart,  To see how far I can go  To explore what I carry for myself Because only when I can let you go  I can hold myself stronger  And through this quest for the ideal soul, which you were to me I have come a long way with myself  Through this quest for the ideal soul, which you were to me I have become one  The one I wanted to be I have become one, with the journey and all its atrocities  I have become one, that may have cost the deepest grief  The grief that permeates your heart, because you know you need it  The grief which you embrace with time The grief which my friend has called to be a beautiful sadness  Because it teaches you that beauty can be felt with both filled and empty heart
2 comments
Read more

Flicker

I gaze through the windows of nearness and truth, searching for what is real and what is not I transverse across a million versions of myself,  Somewhere, I tug at a turban; somewhere, I wear a skirt In one place, I iron a blazer; in another, I stitch wool. I discover more windows, and through them, I keep looking At what is truth and what is not Until I return to myself, with a sudden gasp of air A faint breaking sound of glass I return having seen versions of myself I do not recognise  Some versions of you too perhaps And as they come together, they lead me closer to the truth  until it falters, and no truth remains.
Post a Comment
Read more